Ups and Downs

Gee, I hate my moods. One minute I am up and everything is great and wonderful, then one little thing; a song, a smell, a thought, a task, or a comment, can have me crashing down. There are so many things in my life to be thankful for. My kids. My family. My friends. My job and the people I work with. I have a house to live in, food to eat and feed my children. Cars that run. People who love me. But then there are the things that are missing, that I can't do anything about. Steve is gone. My partner is gone. The person who knew me better than anyone. Accepted me, loved me. Shared my history. Getting to know Bill is wonderful, but it is such hard work. Trusting God that this person is here with me now and for a reason. To let it be and not get too worked up about it. I'm so tired. I need to feel the arms of God holding me, telling me everything will be alright.