Mother's Day

Here it is Mother's Day. and I feel down. We went to church, Gen and I. Ben stayed home...in bed. Kaylyn was on her way to Starved Rock to work. and I feel down. The children's choir sang a nice song. We bid Pastor Chuck farewell. and I feel down. Ben, Gen, Bill, Daniel, and I went to Starved Rock for a lovely brunch. Kaylyn waited on us. and I still feel down. Came home, opened my cards from the kids and Bill...and I cried myself to sleep. Kaylyn called and woke me up...she had a great day. and I still feel down. I am sooooo tired of feeling down. I don't have the fog of depression...I am very sad about life right now. I don't know what my hopes and drams are. I don't know what direction I'm going in. Auto pilot is off...now I don't know what I'm doing and it's scaring me.