The year is drawing to a close. Jane and Michael have arrived to end 2011 and ring in 2012 with us. It is bitter sweet to have them here. Steve should be here with them, for them. I feel lacking in anything I have to give them. I can't give them their son back...as much as I would give everything I have to give...I am just not able. No one is.

It's been a week since the Bill door has closed. Oh how many pieces my heart is in. There is no way to comprehend how many pieces. How can someone who says they care about me treat me in such a way? I thought he was different...caring...human. Prayer continues to be my focus. Trust God and his plan...don't rely on my own understanding. So many people have loved on me and supported me. I am so very blessed...and my deepening relationship with God is helping me greatly. I will march forth into 2012 with the mindset that God will do great things this year. 2011 wasn't bad...three graduations, horse show, half marathon...the personal drain that I have experienced has been the downside. But really...I ended my relationship with Bill...or should I say he ended it with me...but I have Amy, Lisa, Cindy, Jennifer, Gail and so many other wonderful woman in my life...My Sister's in God are here with me...arms locked in battle mode when we need it. Tammy is there to support. And I have support to offer these wonderful women. 2011 has been an awesome year. I can't loose sight of that. May God continue to bless my family and friends as the days tick down and we wind up for the new year.