Empty

It snowed again. I am ready for Spring. The days keep coming and going. There are moments I'm feeling strong and ready to tackle the world. Then there are the moments I feel so defeated. I just want someone to hold me, protect me, believe in me, and to love me.

Friday the 13th

Eleven months ago today Steve had his stoke. It's been a crazy week...my mind and emotions have been going all over the place. Looking back, where were we a year ago? We knew Steve was not feeling well. Were the spells more...there were no answers. It was just like any other Valentine's Day...not much. An "I love you" exchanged. Who would have dreamt it would be the last. Did he even give me a card. I don't think I gave him a card. I think there was an email.... How would I do things differently now? Would I be as tired as I am? Would I have this kind of blank feeling...not really an empty feeling, just blank, can't remember, staying in the moment, not rushing it, just being here where I need to be, feeling what I'm feeling and allowing that to be Okay! Not labeling, just letting it be.