Here it is December 15. In three more days it will be nine months since Steve died. Reflecting on this...it seems like just yesterday and then again like years have passed. My stress has changed. My life has changed. I miss some things, I don't miss others. There are days when I like where my life is headed. I like the people who are around me. I like the things I am doing. Then there are days when nothing seems to be going right and I can't remember things and every step seems to take all the energy out of me. At least those bad days don't seem to be more than the good days. They don't pile up like they use to.
Christmas is hard. We did get the tree put up. We ordered special ornaments in memory of Steve. I'm not really in the mood to buy presents and get things mailed. I really wasn't very good about that before...I'm just less inspired now. I don't want to buy for buying sake. At least the kids will be taken care of and we'll be in California...and I'll want to be somewhere else...I just won't know where that place is...at least I'll be with family.
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