Graduate School

During the first class of graduate school I found myself thinking, "oh, I can't wait to share this or that with Steve....oh, that's right Steve isn't here anymore..." Pushing the thoughts away while in class and on the way home was fairly easy. Quieting down for the night is when the emotions really hit. I have my loving family here to support me...I have Bill who has been so sweet and helpful and always encouraging...but I miss Steve so very much. I imagine myself with a foot in one canoe...the Steve canoe and my other foot is in the Bill canoe. The balancing act is more than I think I can cope with at times. Bill is very understanding...I assume he feels the same at times. We have each lost the loves of our lives...now we are here together and it is amazing...but so bitter sweet...we had to lose to be together...it just doesn't make sense...