Work on the house has come to a standstill. The big push was made to get things ready for the Pampered Chef party and then BUNCO the next night. There is a long list of things that still need to be completed...overhead lights in the kitchen and dining room and trim are the two that stand out that I am dependent on others to do. I need to get the garage cleared out so I can get the cars back in before the really bad weather hits. The downstairs furnace has been repaired and I still have a toilet upstairs that needs to be worked on...does it ever stop?
My calendar seems to be on overdrive and I'm shutting down. There are small miracles, thus cancellations, that occur to make things more manageable, yet I'm finding the continued internal stress wearing on me. Something has to give...I have to take care of myself and I'm not sure what I can eliminate. Graduate school seems to be the obvious answer...but is that giving up on the potential "me" and more financial security for my family? Why am I looking at graduate school as being the obvious answer? There's a question for several sessions with my counselor!
The tears are flowing today...a good thing! Gen is in Indiana with friends. Ben is upstairs sleeping...still (it's 11:16.) Kaylyn is at work and has plans for tonight to go to a concert with friends. Part of me just want to get lost...but the sad thing is I don't know where I am, so the question would be...am I not already lost?
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