Day Before the First Day!

Tomorrow is the first day of the new school year for me. I'm no where near ready for the kids to arrive....but they will be there any way. I look forward to being distracted by the little kiddos, but at the same time worry about being able to be the best teacher I can be and the best parent and the best student...yep, I'm starting a graduate program. Crazy and it's my life.

Today is 5 months sense Steve died. I miss him so much. I miss his help. I miss his hugs and the security I felt in his arms. Will I ever feel secure, loved and unafraid? I took so much for granted. I wish I could go back and re-do the years we had together. Oh, how much I would do differently. I wouldn't be so angry and so tied up in the me and my needs. To be able to be in the moment and enjoy it for what it is. We get so preoccupied in all the other stuff that just clutters our lives. I'm trying to clean out the house to reduce more of the physical clutter so that I can reduce the emotional and mental clutter. It's working...so far.

Sunday, Gen and I went to Adina's church on Sunday. Becky was there to be my safe person and guide me through the unknown. Thanks, Becky! Gen enjoyed her time with Adina. We even went to the potluck picnic at the park. We enjoyed our time and fellowship. The people were wonderfully welcoming. Becky took a great photo of Gen and I. She takes the most amazing pictures.

I am blessed to have such wonderful new friends in my life. I know they never knew Steve, but they are willing to walk with me on this painful journey...thanks Jill, Becky, and Bill. I don't know where I would be without you!