Another Year Almost Gone...

Here I stand on the eve of the "month" that haunts me...So many devastating changes have happened in the month of March. My mom died on the 3rd...Steve's stroke on the 13th and his death on the 18th. I even think the last time I saw my dad was in the month of March...but I don't remember that exactly. I know mom and dad were in Greece for a month prior to dad's death...

I anxiously look at this upcoming month...fearing the toll it will take on me and those loved ones in my life. It's different this year...I'm doing it without someone by my side. Mom's been gone a long time...Steve is gone...Bill is gone. I have to prove to myself that I can feel the feelings and keep on moving forward without someone holding my hand or holding me up in the face of this emotional storm. There is no safe landing spot for me this year. Reality...Reality...Reality! My faith is stronger than it ever has been. God is with me even when I feel most alone. Those alone feelings are rooted in my pushing God away. Time will tell how this month goes. Are my butterfly wings dry and strong enough to fly...we shall see.